Snow’s Cut, NC. Last Wednesday at 7:42 PM a local woman, was informed that her soon to be ex-husband said that she wasn’t a very good guitar player. She was reported to be ticked off about this bit of misinformation more so than the other forms of libel and slander that has perpetuated in their impending divorce.
“This is an outrageous lie,” the woman stated to her friend Mary Ellen Markus of Wilmington, NC, when she called her up to tell her the latest thing she had heard.
“I know,” Mary Ellen stated. “Everyone knows you rock the acoustic, electric and acoustic electric.”
“Don’t forget the bass,” the woman reminded her. “I can play a mean bass when I need to.”
“Oh yes,” Mary Ellen assured her. “That goes almost without saying.”
“It’s one thing to make up stuff about my past jobs and being laid off or to say that I was a terrible house keeper and cook or to say that I was a horrible mother, and a crappy lover, but to say I can’t play the guitar is a hurtful, terrible lie. I mean they even let me plug in some times to carry the rhythm.”
“You don’t have to tell me”, Mary Ellen reassured her.
“That is just plain mean,” the woman who wished to remain anonymous said. She was a little tearful on the phone Mary Ellen observed.
Markus stated that she could just she her friend stroking the turquoise stratocaster Bonnie Raitt held in that poster that still hung in her garage. Her friend often remarked that Raitt was the best slide guitar player of all time. Mary Ellen took her word for it.
“How could anyone strike at the very heart of someone they claimed they used to love. That’s just sadistic,” she said.
Mary Ellen reassured her that anyone who had heard her play knew that it was just petty jealousy. “After all, when you promise your girlfriend’s kid to teach him to play the guitar but can’t play it yourself, there’s got to be some jealousy involved.”
The woman stated that her ex would never pay attention when she tried to teach him a simple II V I progression. “He thought he already knew it all because he had a nice guitar. He thought he could automatically play it. It doesn’t matter how nice your Ferrari is if you never take it out of the garage.”
By that, Markus could tell that her friend had turned the corner in her outrage. “I mean there’s just no sense in getting angry over bold face jealous lies. That is just ridiculous.” Markus reported that her friend was in pretty good spirits despite the disparaging remarks concerning her instrumental skills.
She did, however, report that her friend could be heard practicing scales in the background the next time she called to talk to her.